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01 October 2011 @ 10:46 pm
I have moments where I am capable of writing. I have moments where I absolutely need to write, and I am able to just go-go-go. Unfortunately, I find myself more-and-more in the state of Writer's Block.
I feel confident enough that I am able to call myself a Writer and therefore, a frequent sufferer of Writer's Block. (That isn't to say that anyone is not a Writer.)
When I'm not in the state of Writing, when I'm unable to do it quickly, snappily, and to my liking, I don't know what to do with myself. The words I churn out are awkward and stiff; they're overly formal and uninteresting.
This year I take a writing class where we're encouraged to not be quite so formal, to not be quite so bland. However, I'm rather in the habit of the dryness of formal writing, and working my way back to the ability to write freely is going to be a challenge it seems.
Let's see...
music: You and I - Ingrid Michaelson
06 September 2011 @ 09:41 pm
04 April 2011 @ 04:03 pm
i'm a bitch.
but you know, people have to accept it. no one has to like me. but they can't  pick and choose.
So yeah. I screw up a lot. I'm mean, and manipulative, and a liar, (and mean and alone in life and pathetic etc etc) but you know... people can figure that out on their own. I'm done spelling it out for people. I'm also done pretending to be someone I'm not.
01 December 2010 @ 09:50 pm
weather = flawless
life = not terrible
am i getting what i want = yes
be careful what you wish for? = yes, but take it anyways

don't you let it go

today, i believed in magic
today i believed in miracles <3
i love you snow; i love you music
don't ever forget it
music: mean - taylor swift
24 November 2010 @ 10:18 pm
dear bb cuz
i'm sorry your stepmom is such
miss you
13 November 2010 @ 08:16 pm
Today, I was surfing netflix. I came across a movie called "Letters to God"- I watched it, I laughed, I cried.
Main point of mentioning that- A little boy with cancer writes letters to God. I mean, well, duh.

Today, I happened to be browsing around the internet and I came across a tumblr thing, a 30 day challenge. It's a list of 30 people to write letters to.

Well, I don't think I have the patience to write 30 long letters one a day. But hey- let's see what I come up with, shall we? Maybe I'll give myself a word/letter limit. Hmm.

Here goes all honesty, really. Hey- no one's reading. :)

Day 1. Your Best Friend.
you know who you are you really do. Sometimes I hate myself for letting you be who you are (meaning, my best friend).
You are manipulative, self centered, and know exactly what to say to bring me down down down. You know what you're doing, always.
You keep secrets and talk big, and I'm never sure if what you say is the truth.
But hey, you are who you are- and that's why I love you, like the sister I never had. We fight, we cry in secret, we laugh, we pick on each other, we are like sisters, at least to me.
I'm all alone, a lot of the time. I don't have siblings. I don't know what it's like. I don't have family my age, I've always been pretty alone. They say only children learn how to entertain themselves... No one ever taught me how. So, to you, maybe I am just, best friend; you with your brother and cousins and big closeknit family. But to me, we're sisters.
xx lex

click! here for days 2-7, including "your crush", "a stranger", and a few parting wordsCollapse )


music: i'd rather be with you - joshua radin
04 October 2010 @ 09:58 pm
I love this song enough that I think its lyrics are worth a whole post. I'm not keeping the origional stanzas, because I feel it's a little pointless for my reasoning, but please, go listen to it. It's beautiful.

I am not a child now. I can take care of myself. I mustn't let them down now- Mustn't let them see me cry.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm too tired to listen. I'm too old to believe: All these childish stories.
There is no such thing as faith, And trust, And pixie dust.
I try, But it's so hard to believe.
I try, But I can't see what you see.
I try. I try. I try.
My whole world is changing, I don't know where to turn. I can't leave you waiting,
But I cant stay and watch the city burn; Watch it burn.
'Cause I try, But its so hard to believe.
I try, But I can't see what you see.
I try. I try.
I try and try, To understand, The distance in between: The love I feel, The things I fear, and every single dream.
I can finally see it.
Now I have to believe: All those precious stories.
All the world is made of faith, And trust, And pixie dust.
So I'll try, 'Cause I finally believe.
I'll try, 'Cause I see where you see.
I'll try. I'll try. I will try.
I'll try-
To fly.
03 October 2010 @ 10:01 pm
it is really hard to believe in love.

just a general statement...

i'll leave you with these unrelated songs that are pretty beautiful...
you - the pretty reckless
brand new day - joshua radin

some kind of magic, happens late at night
you've gotta fall in order to mend.
26 September 2010 @ 12:05 am
wow, i'm tired haha.
what a starter.

this week, i broke.
i hate breaking, but i do it so
i break for stupid reasons, too, which is probably what kills me the most

it's not like someone is doing something to me that causes me to just KAPLOW
i don't know; do i do it to myself?

little triggers, little triggers, they set it off.
and you would think that after a while, i would toughen up or get over it, or realize that everything is not a goshdarn perfect fairytale
and for some reason, unbeknownst to me, it hasn't sunken in.

i can't get it through my head.

i try to explain it to people or at least real people and the response is like, ...weirdo...haha........
no that's not true

i don't try to explain it to people
i don't like being broken in public, but i am, i always am
and it is so f..reaking difficult

so broken people out there,
here's me, another broken glass figure, handing you some glue... maybe this time, when someone drops you, they will drop you hard enough for you to stop gluing yourself together and having to learn again.
oh wait am i hindering you all?
i'm sorry , i love you ,
19 April 2010 @ 06:23 pm
could someone please explain to me why i keep doing this?

one of my best friends- has shut out the world.
and i keep going back to her, i keep trying to talk. i keep trying, but it always backfires. she doesn't say a thing. i didn't get a call on my birthday. she never calls. she never writes an IM first. and alright, i could be doing more. yes. but every time we DO (attempt to) communicate, I initiate it. i am always always always trying. but you know what else? i'm also always crying. and, you know, it hurts. it's not fun.
so why do i keep going back?
ilhlas (loveherlikeasister) but it's just so. OIDJFAOIASDKLFJAKDLSJF. that's how i would describe it. and i can't make myself stop but every time i try, i end up hurt.
mood: depresseddepressed